By Dr. Benjamin Johnson
Clinical Psychologist
I’d like to spend some time with you today on the subject of violence. Why are we so fascinated with violence? Why have we become so used to it, at times even indifferent? What makes people behave violently? Why does it seem that there are copycats to so many violent acts? There is not just a Columbine High School shooting, there’s a Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, a University of Virginia shooting, a shooting at Seattle Pacific University and others. Now I know it can be a problematic to ask too many questions when you are trying to focus on a particular topic. But violence is an issue that affects everyone in some way and there are many things that contribute to violence. There is a fascination with violence and destruction appears to be gripping the United States. Every day you hear stories in the news about some act of violence, whether it is in homes, in places of employment, at schools, or even places of worship. The odd thing is that similar acts repeat themselves in different places, different communities, and in different parts of the country. But there is yet no agreement about what should be done to minimize acts of violence. When it comes to guns, the guns-rights advocates say it’s not the guns, but people that kill people. The reality is that people with guns kill people, on purpose and by accident. Still, what fuels the epidemic of destruction and violence?
There are many reasons used to explain why people act violently towards others. But most of the reasons offered are too superficial and do not get at the heart of the issue. At the heart of the issue of why people are violent to others is not the answer to why, but to answer the question, “What allows a person to act violently towards another? What makes people violent can be explained as motives. A motive is a drive to achieve a particular result or outcome. The motive provides the mental and emotional energy to act toward achieving the result. So, when you are hungry (drive) you are moved to acquire food to stop feeling hungry, thus stopping the hunger drive. Once you’re full you are less interested in food. The emphasis or importance that you have placed upon the motive is the energy behind the motivation to act on it. The impetus behind the motivation is housed in your thoughts and feelings. The Bible says, that “as a man thinks, so is he.” So, when you’re moved by your violent ideas (thoughts) you become less inhibited against behaving violently. The truth is that individuals who act violently towards others think violent thoughts about them.
The society is inundated with images of violence, whether in music, movies, television, cartoons, and especially video games. It allows us to become comfortable with the presence of violence and unaware of its insidious impact on our thinking. Violence has been around as long as mankind. Every age seems to identify the coming age or generation as more violent than their generation. This is in large measure due to awareness of violence and a sense of vulnerability than actual reality. We still remain uncomfortable with violence even though we think violently (seeking retribution, want vengeance, even justice). In his book, The Violence Within, written in 1978, Paul Tournier wrote, “…violence is ambiguous, sometimes condemned, sometimes praised.” It seems he was pointing out that we still have a hard time agreeing when violence is acceptable, appropriate, or merited, even though most people abhor or hate acts of violence. Nevertheless, people arm themselves to be prepared to act violently, but only if and when necessary. At the same time the same person see himself or herself as peaceful.
The motive to act violently is less ambiguous than is readily accepted. Motives to act violently have to do to the desire to destroy, gain power or control, to minimize a threat, to limit the power of someone else and thus change the balance of power. The motivation is somewhat less clear because behind the motivation is the decision to carry out the act of violence. In the motivation is the justification that the perpetrator uses to support or validate their action. It accounts for the thoughts (when it is thought out) that justifies and permits the action. There is a difference between the motive to act with violence and the motivation to do so. You can have a hostile thought and yet have other thoughts that discourage the violent action.
The act of violence requires a close inspection, even an investigation to uncover the motives that support or explain the action taken. Many motives and supporting motivations are only discernable by the outcomes. Often when there is an act involving massive violence the person(s) involved (perpetrator) have a sense that the action that is taken is warranted because of past violations to themselves, for some frustrated goal(s) for which those targeted can be blamed. This was the case in the shooting that took place recently in Santa Barbara. The perpetrator (gunman) had a disdain for women, but felt all rejected him. In his mind he had been isolated, left out. He was moved to seek retribution for these unknown offenses.
Violence can offer potential benefits as well as extol tremendous costs. The central question behind the motive for violence often go to establish whether it might be considered beneficial or extol costs. Violence put in place to be of service to others is often regarded to hold benefits, e.g., protecting the weak and vulnerable or liberating those who are exploited by someone who’s more powerful than they. It is seen as extolling tremendous cost when then the motive is to gain power or advantage for the one who behaves violently or when used to exploit someone who is innocent or defenseless. So you can see, violence to achieve or exploit power is not valued, while violence in service of others might be better tolerated, understood and accepted. Violence may be used by those not in power (like the Taliban) to let those in power (the government) know they do not have absolute power and control, or to push back against their perception of the unfair use of power. Anarchists might use violence to disrupt (as happens every year in Seattle), while gangs and militia might use violence to change the social order by making others more fearful or deferential to them, or simply to support their enterprise. In either case the violence employed is a tool to achieve a motive or outcome.
When the motive for violence is unseemly and unacceptable, people bring into question why the individual of group would resort to behaving in a way that extols such tragedy of great cost without apparent merit. Sometimes there is a review that requires time be spent on the specific victim or victims of the violence to uncover the motives that permit the perpetrator to act violently. The community often finds itself both impatient and upset whenever there is violence at the hands of the police, those who are supposed to be responsibility to keep the community safe. They find it difficult to wait when they can see conclusively that the use of violence was not the only way to handle the situation, especially if the violence was towards someone seen by others as defenseless.
There is yet another level to violence. It is the level of violence motivated by anger and rage, rather than logical motive and thought. Unmanaged anger is very dangerous. It is very demanding because of how uncomfortable the angry person is. Unmanaged, the motivation to act out is stronger than ideas of restraint. Options to behave differently become less available. Anger is an emotion that is characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong or adversely affected your life. Anger is an emotional signal that you are uncomfortable about something. Like other emotions; being sad, being afraid, and being happy it provides you with information about your emotional state. However, unlike the other emotions, anger does not readily draw others close to us. As humans we are inclined to console those who are sad or afraid and share a happy emotion with another. However, anger will soon make you want to increase your distance from the angry person. Used in a healthy manner anger can help you establish your personal boundaries with others.
So, anger is a normal emotion that can be used and healthy, unless it gets out of hand such that it can cause problems (disordered anger). Disordered anger tends to be of greater intensity than normal anger. It takes very little to set off individuals with anger problems. Their reactions are usually over blown or disproportionate to the situation or circumstance. Disordered anger interferes with people’s lives and relationships. People with anger problems may stew for long periods of time ranging from several hours to several years. Their feelings of rage fail to diminish with time (it takes too long for them to stop feeling angry). Do you know someone like this?
Anger comes from within us. So does the motive to act violently. It is important that you become aware of your aggressiveness. This may be difficult because we all tend to justify our aggression, making it legitimate. Becoming aware of your anger and when it gets expressed can signal whether your anger is becoming disordered. Become aware of your own fear of anger. Most of us are afraid of angry people. Being around angry people can make you angry also. Being mad has long been considered as “being out of your mind”. People would say, “She has to be mad, out of her mind to do that.”
Uncontrolled, unmanaged, and unmodulated anger has unpredictable consequences. Violence comes out suddenly from long repressed aggression. You can become better able to control your anger and its expression. Correct violent thoughts and check out your violent feelings, often they are based upon misinformation and faulty conclusions. Learn to express yourself in terms of outcomes, thus being less likely to make threats, issue ultimatums, use coercion and exclusions or rejection. Correcting your own violent expressions may influence others to do likewise. Have you ever been offended to hear a mother warn or threaten a child in the store that she was going to whip him just for asking for a piece of candy? How about a little less violent communication? Please!
