By Stacy M. Brown
Family, in Black America, has long stretched past the limits of law and lineage. It lives in the neighbor who kept watch from the porch, the church mother who corrected your grammar, the friend who became a cousin without a ceremony. A sweeping new Pew Research Center survey now quantifies what generations have practiced in real time.
“Half the people I call aunt or uncle aren’t related to me at all,” said Albert Youngblood, 37, a plumber who grew up in D.C.’s Ward 8. “They were there when my mom was working doubles. They were there when I got in trouble at school. Blood doesn’t make you show up. Showing up makes you family.”
The new report, “What family means to Black Americans,” is based on a survey of 4,271 Black adults and 2,555 other U.S. adults. The survey discovered that 77% of Black Americans say there is at least one person in their lives not related by birth, marriage or law whom they consider family. Among non-Black adults, 63% say the same. Fifty-eight percent of Black adults report having more than one non-relative they consider family.
These relationships are not casual. Among Black adults with a non-relative family member, 95% say they have known them for a long time and 95% describe them as close friends. Ninety-two percent say those individuals supported them through a difficult time. Eighty-eight percent say they have a lot in common, 85% say they share an aspect of identity such as race or gender, 83% call them longtime family friends, 72% say they share religious or spiritual beliefs and 55% say they grew up in the same neighborhood.
The closeness extends across generations. Among Black adults who have them, 66% say they feel extremely or very close to a parent and 63% say the same about a sibling. Seventy-three percent say they feel extremely or very close to a non-relative they consider family, and 77% say that about a spouse or partner.
For many, extended relatives carry equal weight. Forty-eight percent of Black adults say they feel extremely or very close to a grandparent, compared with 33% of non-Black adults. Forty-two percent say they are extremely or very close to a cousin, compared with 20% of others. Thirty-six percent report that level of closeness with an aunt or uncle, compared with 19 percent of non-Black adults.
Sakeena White, 33, who works for Verizon, said those ties became lifelines after her father died.
“My play cousins sat with me every night that first week,” White said. “We aren’t related on paper, but they carried me. That’s family.”
Emotional support flows in multiple directions. Sixty-seven percent of Black adults who have a spouse or partner say they are extremely or very likely to turn to them for emotional support. Half say they would turn to a non-relative they consider family, 49% to a parent and 45% to a sibling. Black adults are also far more likely than others to seek support from extended relatives. Thirty-four percent say they would turn to a grandparent for emotional support, compared with 15% of non-Black adults. Twenty-seven percent would turn to a cousin, compared with 10% of others, and 24% to an aunt or uncle, compared with 9%.
They are just as likely to give it. Sixty-seven percent say a spouse or partner turns to them extremely or very often for emotional support. Forty-eight percent say the same about a non-relative family member, 38% about a sibling and 36 percent about a parent. Twenty-three percent say a cousin turns to them that often, 21% a grandparent and 14% an aunt or uncle.
Among Black adults who provide emotional support to at least one family member, 46% say they find it rewarding and 36% say it is enjoyable. Eighteen percent describe it as stressful and 17% as tiring.
Financial support is even more striking. Fifty-nine percent of Black adults say they gave money or financial assistance to parents or other family members in the year prior to the survey, up from 39 percent in 2021. Among non-Black adults, 42% report giving financial support.
That generosity often comes at a cost. Among Black adults who gave financial help, 51% say it hurt their own financial situation at least somewhat, including 25% who say it hurt a great deal or a fair amount. Among non-Black adults who gave financial support, 35% say it hurt their finances at least somewhat.
Landry Baldwin, 48, who runs a landscape business, said he has felt that tension.
“I’ve written checks when I knew it would tighten things at home,” Baldwin said. “But if my people need help, I don’t debate it. That’s how I was raised.”
Receiving help is less common than giving it, yet still significant. Thirty-two percent of Black adults say they received financial assistance from family in the prior year, compared with 23% of non-Black adults. Among Black adults who received help, 49% say it improved their financial situation a great deal or a fair amount, and 33 percent say it helped some.
The survey also documents a strong racial connection that reaches beyond immediate networks. Seventy-five percent of Black adults say being Black is extremely or very important to how they think about themselves. Fifty-eight percent say they generally consider other Black people in the United States their brothers or sisters. Seventy-nine percent say they feel a responsibility to look out for other Black people at least somewhat often, including 39% who say they feel that responsibility extremely or very often.
Youngblood said that a sense of duty is instinctive.
“When one of us wins, we all feel it. When one of us is hurting, we all feel that too,” he said. “That’s why family, for us, is bigger than paperwork. It always has been.”
