Seattle Children’s
Every year, back-to-school time is met with emotions ranging from excitement to nervousness or fear. Learn four ways to reduce back-to-school worries as you support your child’s return to the classroom.
1. Accept that all feelings are normal and valid
Many children and youth will be excited about returning to school, reconnecting with friends and teachers, engaging in sports, clubs or performance arts, but excitement is often accompanied by jitters or nervousness.
Some kids will be afraid to leave the safety of their home and go back to the social scene or behavioral expectations that are part of a school day. They may feel anxious or worried about adjusting to a completely new schedule and routine.
Start talking with your child or teen to learn how they’re feeling about going back to school. There are no right or wrong answers. Help them name their feelings if they are having trouble and let them feel the feelings they’re experiencing. It’s as simple as saying, “You’re feeling nervous,” if they share that feeling with you; or, “It seems like you’re feeling angry,” if that’s what they are expressing. Truly hear them and try to understand their point of view, so they feel safe and validated.
Know that their feelings may change from day to day or as school gets underway. Continue to listen without judgment as they share what they’re thinking. This can help keep the lines of communication open, which is a very good thing! It is important to validate their feelings, even if you do not feel the same or agree with the behaviors linked to these feelings.
2. Get physically ready for the change in routine
Start with getting back to healthy habits that promote physical and mental wellness. Reign in those late bedtimes a few weeks before school starts. Start moving bedtime 30 minutes earlier every three to five days until your child is getting the recommended sleep for their age (see Sleep Guidelines on page 3), based on when they’ll need to wake up on school days. Avoid screens starting at least 30 minutes before bedtime.
Continue aiming to have your child move their bodies for at least 60 minutes each day. Being active reduces stress, improves sleep, and helps kids be ready to learn and cope with challenges.
Get any required immunizations, annual check-ups or sports physicals scheduled now. Stay on top of preventive health visits and schedule those appointments before life gets even busier.
Start planning for healthy meals for school days. Enlist your child in making a list of fruits and vegetables they’d like to pack in their lunch or have ready for after-school snacks. Pick a water bottle they can pack with them to help them stay hydrated. Make a schedule for sharing the responsibilities of school night dinners – working side by side in the kitchen will be a great time to check in as the school year gets going.
Do you need to reinstate a family calendar, a backpack location or a homework station? Now’s a good time. Planning ahead will make the initial weeks less stressful.
3. Foster relationships that build resilience
Nurturing relationships help build resilience by making kids and teens feel safe and secure. If you’re able to, set aside extra time to be available to your child or teen in the coming weeks. You don’t need to have an agenda for the time you spend with
them. Being near provides opportunities for talking about hopes and fears, and also lets you say and show that you love your child. Consider visiting other loved ones in person or virtually to remind your child that they have extended family and friends that care for them.
If your school or community is offering back-to-school playground dates or events, try to attend so you can make connections and build community.
4. Give praise and celebrate wins, big and small!
Give specific praise for behaviors that you want to see more of, like, “You were patient when we had to wait to talk to your teacher today,” or, “You were brave and tried out for the team even though you’ve never played soccer before.” Positive reinforcement can fuel more of the behaviors that you want to see.
As you practice, spotlight brave actions. Notice and celebrate the things that go well as your child embarks on the new year. Celebrate your hard work as a caregiver too! A smooth drop-off, great effort on an assignment, or making first chair in band are all worthy of cheer!
