Parenting Today
In a recent Boys & Girls Club survey, 40% of youth said they were bullied on school property in the past year. Despite some surveys saying that the rates of bullying are falling, it remains a high concern for students, teachers, and parents. The impacts of bullying are scary and include mental health issues, poor school attendance and performance, and increased risk of substance abuse.
So, what can you, as a parent, do to help ensure your child isn’t bullied at school and provide support if they are? Awareness of the signs of bullying, vigilance in watching for changes in your child, and open communication are all keys to supporting your child.
Prevalence of Bullying
The anti-bullying organization Tyler Clementi defines bullying as “any intentional, unwanted, and harmful threat or action that includes a real or perceived imbalance of power; the action is repeated or has the potential to be repeated over time.”
About half of U.S. teens (53%) say online harassment and online bullying are a significant problem for people their age, according to a spring 2022 Pew Research Center survey of teens ages 13 to 17. Traditional bullying includes:
- Verbal bullying, such as name-calling, teasing, and threats.
- Social bullying, such as spreading rumors, alienating, or publicly embarrassing.
- Physical bullying, such as kicking, hitting, pushing, taking or breaking belongings, and threatening or rude gestures.
Cyberbullying includes:
- Being called an offensive name
- Having false rumors spread about them online
- Being sent explicit images they didn’t ask for
- Someone other than a parent constantly asking them where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with
- Being physically threatened
- Having explicit images of them shared without their consent.
Risk Factors
Stop Bullying Now reports that some groups experience bullying more often. For example, females tend to experience bullying more than males for specific types, such as verbal and cyber. Meanwhile, males experience more physical bullying. Bullying is generally more prevalent in the middle school years than in high school. Ethnic minorities, youth with disabilities, and lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, or transgender (LGBQT) students experience higher rates of bullying. They also describe other risk factors such as being perceived as different or weak, having low self-esteem, experiencing depression, having few friends, and being seen as annoying or provoking. You may want to be more vigilant if your child has one or more of these risk factors.
Warning Signs
Changes in your child’s behavior, such as avoiding social situations, losing interest in school or activities, unhealthy eating habits, or difficulty sleeping, may be signs of bullying. Unexplained bruises, declines in self-esteem, and feelings of depression or anxiety can also be warning signs. Parents who are aware of these changes in their children can be prepared to open up a dialogue.
Protective Factors
Helping our children build protective factors can lessen the chances or impact of bullying. The Centers for Disease and Control and Prevention (CDC) identifies bullying protective factors, including:
- Attitudes about school: The student wants to do well in school and believes their parents have high school performance expectations.
- Social skills: The student has competent social skills and positive relationships with peers and adults.
- Parent/Child relationships: The student shares activities with parents, feels comfortable discussing problems, and has parents present during critical times such as mornings before school, after school, mealtimes, and when going to bed.
- School environment: The student attends a school with clear rules, supervision, firm disciplinary policies, and engaged parents and teachers.
- Confidence: The student is involved in activities and hobbies that build their self-confidence.
How to Support Your Child
Supporting your child begins before any incidents of bullying occur. Review the protective factors and evaluate if there are any areas of improvement for your child and family. Simple steps like eating dinner together can build bonds and open opportunities for your child to share about their day and experiences at school.
If you suspect your child is being bullied, work to provide an environment conducive to open communication. This includes listening to your child’s concerns without judgment and validating their feelings. When your child tells you they or a friend are being bullied, document the details of the incident and the results if you report it to the school. Learn about their school’s policies and their efforts to create an anti-bullying environment.
School environments play a significant role, so advocating for changes if you feel that leadership didn’t appropriately address your child’s incident can be impactful.
You may need to help your child’s school understand the importance of anti-bullying measures. For example, schools can teach about the critical role of upstanders, individuals who intervene in bullying by interrupting, reporting, or reaching out to the target for support. Studies show that when an upstander intervenes or interrupts, the bullying behavior stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time; additionally, bullying decreases by up to 25% after implementing school-wide bullying prevention programs.
Anti-bullying efforts typically involve both family involvement and school commitment, but the results are heartening when everyone works together.
